You humans make me sick
by Kayi Rowling
Summary: [Incomplete Book of Dragons] Grima returns to human form to search for her challengers, and completely loses her mind at what she finds
1. Robin

**Notes:** This takes place between Lucina's  Lost Child Scroll and the Grimleal children's Book of Spares. And will run for three chapters, one each day, as is my custom :)

 **Stats:** Requests are officially over for wave two of the  Receive and Request Saga. 78 ships have been gathered (nearly 4 times the first wave!), I haven't taken a final word count yet but I expect it will be high as well...

 _You can still make requests,_ though, but they will be for a later date :D (I cannot say no to all of you, you're the best!)

* * *

Grima let her dragon form vanish; it took more energy than it seemed to keep it out in the open. She gracefully landed on Plegian soil by the sea, trying not to growl in anger. She had been counting on Naga's Sheep bringing her unused vessel over, and had felt them approaching... when suddenly they turned around and marched back to Ylisse. She _had_ waited, but they never came back her way.

"Just _what_ do these mortals think they're _doing?_ "

Teleporting was easier than flying, and in one try, she was standing in the gardens at Ylisstol castle. The trees were bare, and there was some snow on the ground. She sneezed.

"Where is that girl?" she hissed as she raised her hood and held the coat closed in tighter. "This body can only stand so much... brrr... cold."

She could feel her avatar's presence in a room inside, and another teleport later, she stood in a fancy chamber, warm thanks to its fireplace. She sighed in relief and walked over to the bed.

"Normina? If this is another rant of yours," Robin groaned, turning around to face the Fell Dragon unknowingly, "oh. You're not the queen."

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"Well... I _could_ scream for help, I guess."

"Don't," Grima spat, sitting down beside the miserable looking woman. "I have been waiting for you and Naga's Sheep..."

"Chrom's Shepherds."

"...to come over and attempt to defeat me. Which you wouldn't have managed to do, I mean, but I was _waiting for you to show up!_ "

Robin sighed, rolling her eyes. She shifted on her bed a bit, apparently in pain. "Sorry, Miss Wings of Despair, there were more pressing matters to tend to."

"Such as?"

"I'm having a baby."

"Ew! How dare you do that to _my_ body?"

There was a little satisfied smirk on her failed vessel's lips that was incredibly annoying to her. "I haven't told you the best part."

"Keep it."

Grima's eyes went all over Robin's body, covered by fluffy blankets. She was weakened by her condition, really vulnerable. She could easily be beaten and taken away...

"I'll scream if you try anything."

"You say that as if anyone can stop me."

"I assure you Chrom keeps an ear trained on my room. And he has the Falchion."

"...you slept with the prince, didn't you?"

Robin's amused giggles sent disgusted shudders down Grima's body. "You ruined the surprise!" Humans were the very worst!

"I will leave you to your gross endeavor. I already waited a thousand years, I can wait a few months more. It is nothing at all. I will have _you_ and _your spawn_ then," she threatened, standing up and going to the window.

Her avatar was glaring at her now, she saw her reflection on the windowpane. "We will fight back if you try. No matter what you try, I will find a way to win."

"Sure thing," Grima chuckled darkly, facing Robin one last time, then teleporting away.


	2. Naga

**Notes:** Naga is somewhat based on the one we "see" in Nah's supports with Morgan. She's so fun there! ...also, she wants to try a different way to neutralize Grima, who is rightfully afraid of her. Let's see how it goes!

 **Stats:** The schedule is up! All the requests have been organized into a mini-calendar, you can check it on my profile. It conveniently groups stuff together so you can follow a theme each day, and know when to tune in to catch what you want to read. We start next Tuesday!

* * *

Grima still needed Robin. She had brought over her own power from her timeline, but a lot of it had faded as she crossed the gate; it had been opened by Naga, after all, and she had raked at her soul as she pursued those children to the past, weakening her even if she couldn't stop her. She had committed a mistake with her past self, as well, draining herself further. Then she had awakened the Fell Dragon of this timeline, attempting to merge with its energy to both recover and grow in might; yet its bonds clung to her failed vessel, every single use of her magic costing her more than it should...

"Damn that old dragon witch!"

"Oh, are you talking about me, child?"

The Divine Dragon stood right behind her, in all her shininess and fake benevolence. Grima had been so focused on her thoughts, she hadn't noticed the dark night around the Outrealm Gate lighting up like a castle on fire with the manakete's presence.

"You have visited your vessel from this timeline today. How did it go?" How did she _know?_

"She's having a b... _spawning._ She's spawning."

Naga smiled wryly, sitting down beside her on the grass. "You had it correctly the first time. She is having a baby."

"It's still disgusting."

"You are such a child," she condescendingly patted Grima's head. "I promise you will understand if you decide to _mature as you age._ "

"I'm _very_ mature!"

"Sure thing."

The Fell Dragon moved to sit farther apart. "You were spying on Robin and I, weren't you?"

"Kind of, yes," Naga admitted. "She must be kept safe and sound. Her baby will ensure your lineage is over, as he will have Exalted blood just like the other Ylissean royals."

"You're _poisoning_ my bloodline?!"

"Not to be crass, but it was your vessel the one who said they were wearing too many clothes back then."

" _Did you spy on them?!_ "

"No! ...though they sure called on me a lot."

Grima groaned, her face feeling a bit too warm. Humans were so perverted! Humans were so disgusting! Humans were so... "Ew!"

"You are such a child."

"Not!"

"You should be put to sleep for another thousand years. Come on, _I will tuck you in._ "

Goosebumps rose all over her skin at those words. "I... please..."

"You are a little orphaned dragon. I need to _take care of you._ "

"No... stop..."

Naga patted Grima's head again, smiling honestly this time. It was strangely soothing.

"What about doing some traveling? You have been asleep for so long, most of your life actually, and burned the world in your timeline without a second thought. Surely there are things to see before you attempt to destroy everything again."

That _was_ an idea; what if she returned to her Grimleal cultists in Plegia, and started planning how to draw Robin out from her protected little nest? She still needed her soul to increase her own power... The dragons parted ways peacefully.


	3. Grima

**Notes:** If you didn't see it coming or think the ending is a cliffhanger, you haven't read the  Book of Spares. This is not a troll fic, I mean every word! XD (is that better or _worse?_ )

 **Stats:** I forgot in yesterday's notes, I'm 2 ship requests away from 100 total for the  Request and Receive Saga, so those two are going to be _special!_ If you see one story you want a sequel to, during the scheduled releases, you can request I continue it. The best two sequel ideas will get the spots for 99 and 100.

* * *

Grima slept at the Dragon's Table, her puny human body needing some rest. It was a good shelter, and it was quiet; not even Risen shambling about with their groaning. It was also a good spot to find wandering Grimleal at. She would do that the next day. So she curled up on the floor by a pillar, closed her eyes, and drifted off...

"Hey, lady! Are you alright?"

" _Ugh,_ don't touch me!"

The Fell Dragon rolled away from the mortal that had awakened her in concern. She sat up and looked at the man, who seemed both startled and relieved she had reacted at all. Had he honestly thought she was dead or something?

"You shouldn't sleep around here. It's dangerous, and..." he stopped, squinting at her. "Hey! You are the Ylissean tactician!"

What was he talking about? Oh right, she was identical to Robin. "Not really, I'm just her twin sister," she lied. "Are you with the Grimleal?"

"No. I'm a foreign armorer, and don't follow the Plegian state religion."

She looked all around them pointedly. "An armorer? At the Dragon's Table? Who are you _even_ selling to?"

"It's a slow season."

She stared for a couple seconds, then she erupted in mocking laughter. Humans were truly ridiculous!

He took it surprisingly well. "I know," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "Not a good decision to stick around, but all the good spots are taken, and one has to try... So, what is your name?"

"Eh... Raven." She had seen a couple pecking at a soldier's corpse outside last night, and it was the first thing to cross her mind.

It was his turn to laugh. "Your parents must have _really_ loved birds!"

Why was she even talking with this man instead of _blasting his head off?_ She would be doing him a favor, that hair wasn't coming back again.

But she just stood up, rearranging her coat and hood, not bothering with the dust. Individual humans were a bother. It was better to kill them all en masse. She could spare the environment, though; Naga was right, the world seemed nice...

" _Ugh,_ she can't be right," she hissed lowly, turning to walk past the nuisance.

His hand was on her shoulder almost immediately. "Hey, where do you think you are going? You shouldn't wander about without company."

"You can't come with me, if that's what you're implying."

"What kind of man would leave a young lady alone in Grimleal lands?"

"A smart one would, for _this_ young lady."

Their eyes met again, the resolve of a millennia-old dragon against the determination of a weak human soul...

"Then I have no need for my brain anymore," he said, suddenly grasping one of her hands as he went down on one knee. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Please, marry me, Raven."

 _What?!_ Grima was so freaked out... _humans were such nonsensical creatures..._ her mortal body froze... _they had to die..._ and she fainted.


End file.
